Eye Love You

By Carol Harper

One of the first things my son, Kevin, did when he got back from Iraq was buy a car…a very nice car. Now, you have to know that Kevin and cars have had a love-hate relationship through the years, but one story in particular stands out in my mind.

Ah, those teenage years. Gotta love ‘em.

David and I had been gone for a day trip and were on our way home when we received a phone call about 45 minutes out. It was Kevin: “You’re not going to be very happy when you get home…” was all we could make out until the cell service had dropped (we lived in a forested area, and cell service was often patchy), but his message left us wondering what we were about to come home to. What did he break? Was there a fire? Did he have a party and trash the house? For 45 minutes we were left to wonder, and of course, as parents of teenagers, you have to prepare yourself for anything. Anything.

As we pulled into the driveway, we were first relieved to see the house still standing. Our next door neighbor, Mark (who was also a CA highway patrolman), emerged from the house, and asked us, “Do you see anything missing?” We quizzically looked around…

“How about the absence of a Lexus?”

Mark proceeded to tell the story of how Kevin (not yet a licensed driver) had taken the keys to the Lexus and went on a joy ride with his friends. Apparently, they had followed one of their friends who was speeding along on a winding country road in some sort of cat-and-mouse chase—misjudged a sharp turn and crashed into a fence near a local campground. The car was totaled - police were called, reports taken. Since we were out of town, Mark had stepped in and took Kevin back home to await our arrival.

As a feeling of shock washed over me, I sank to my knees in the driveway and proceeded to use every swear word ever collected into my arsenal of vulgarities (ignoring the fact that Mark was also an active Mormon). And as I sat there stewing in my anger, mumbling and thinking up every kind of punishment possible…the first words out of David’s mouth were:

It’s just a car. Is Kevin okay?

Snap. I woke up. Oh my God…Kevin! The entire time Kevin had been up in his bedroom, no doubt waiting for the axe to fall, waiting for our reaction, waiting for his sentence, wondering: “Oh man, what’s gonna happen now?”

What I hadn’t thought in my blind anger was whether Kevin or anyone else had been hurt in the accident. And it turned out that he was injured; tiny bits of shattered windshield glass had gotten into his eyes. Since there were no eye specialists in our area, we had to take the 1.5 hour drive to Sacramento to get him treated. The trip and emergency room wait gave us all time to think and talk things through, put everything in perspective. But as I looked over the doctor’s shoulder into Kevin’s eyes, and saw the pieces of glass floating in the Fluorescein dye – I could think of nothing else than the love I had for my son—grateful that it wasn’t more than what a few days of eye drops and antibiotics could handle. It could have been a lot worse, a lot worse. He could have been badly injured or killed…or someone else could have been badly injured or killed.

Everyone makes mistakes. Some mistakes are more serious than others. Many mistakes in life have been labeled by religion as “sin”. Others might simply be of “Darwin Award” caliber, as in “stupid is as stupid does”. Some say there are no mistakes…only lessons, opportunities, discoveries, revelations, epiphanies. Well, I certainly had one that day. As a mother, I like to think that I’ve taught my kids a thing or two. But as I think back upon this and a myriad of incidents compiled in the annals of parenthood…the truth is, it was I who had learned the most.

What went through my mind, came from my cussing lips, and saw through my angry, blind eyes that day were the actions of an irresponsible teenager –a highway patrolman in my driveway, a totaled car, someone’s damaged property, the amount of money it would take to replace car and property, the court fees and fines.

What I didn’t see was my son’s angst and remorse; his conscience aching over the consequences of his actions, and most of all, an injury sustained to one of the most fragile parts of the human body: his eyes.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others,

you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye

and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother,

'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?

You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye,

and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.”
Matthew 7:1-5, NIV

It is not what we think we see. It is what we don’t see, cannot see…refuse to see. Jesus halted the death penalty for a woman accused of adultery (John 8: 1-11). Those with stones in their hands saw a woman worthy of death, according to their laws. However, Jesus saw a woman who made a mistake that nearly cost her life…saved her, forgave her, warned her, taught her.

What the priest and Levite saw on the side of the road was a situation that would disrupt their schedule, make them late for an appointment, make them unclean or taint their reputation. What the Good Samaritan saw was a man who had been robbed, stripped, beaten and left for dead, needing help (Luke 10: 30-37). The Samaritan went above and beyond what was needed to make it all right. And what’s more, he didn’t even have to!

What a Pharisee saw was a known sinful woman touching a Rabbi. What Jesus saw was a faith-filled woman who gave him more attention than his own dinner host (Luke 7: 36-50).

What the disciples saw was Jesus associating with a Samaritan woman at the Well of Jacob. What Jesus saw was a woman who would testify of Him as the Messiah (John 4).

What the religious saw was Jesus associating with the pagans and the pariahs of Israel. What Jesus saw was a world of anger, hurt and pain waiting and aching to be healed. What everyone else saw as unclean, unholy, unwanted, undesirable, unpopular…Jesus saw as clean, holy, wanted, desired and beautiful:

“The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single,

thy whole body shall be full of light.

“But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness.

If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!”

Matthew 6: 22-23, KJV

What pair of eyes are we looking through? Do we look through compassionate, forgiving, loving eyes…or do we see and judge the surface, the actions, the mistake, the so-called ‘”sin”?

How dare we assume to look through God’s eyes! Our own eyes are so often fixed upon the fallible media, tabloids, pulpits, posts, texts and blogs…our ears ripe for the latest gossip and hearsay, the juicy tidbits, so quick to believe the commercialized, mudslinging campaigns. Quick to join the crowds, the causes, the crusades. We sit in judgment of people we don’t even know. We label and hate; ridicule and blame. We judge those who walk into planned parenthood clinics. Those on death row. Gays and lesbians. AIDS patients. Drug addicts and alcoholics, prostitutes, politicians, celebrities, convicts, ex-cons…those of different race, color, religion and beliefs, our next door neighbors. Our so-called “enemies”.

Who the hell do we think we are?

The disciples came to him and asked, "Why do you speak to the people in parables?"

"The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them.

Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance.

Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. This is why I speak to them in parables:
"Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand.

In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:
" 'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.

But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.

For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

Matthew 13: 10-17

Should we not examine our own selves, turn our misjudging, pointing fingers towards our own selves? Should we not, after 2000 years, start seeing through the eyes of Christ, than our own flawed, blinded, speck-filled eyes? To those who assume such self-righteousness, to those who think they know it all, to those who campaign with empty, career-filled, hypocritical promises…

All I can say is: SNAP! Wake up and shut up! Believe me, that’s mild in comparison to what I said in the driveway of my own home so many years ago, as I so very much unrighteously judged and MISjudged my own son!

I still have hope. Yes, in a world that is trying to squelch faith, hope and love, I still stand firm with eyes to see, ears to hear…and a heart that beats for One who loves unconditionally and made that love known.

Oh, thank God for God. Thank you, Lord Jesus…for Your unconditional love. For I finally understand:

^“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers

will worship the Father in spirit and truth,

for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.

God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."

John 4: 23-24 (underline added)